No Longer a Fighter

There are instances in life I find myself taking in a moment feeling invincible.  Unstoppable.  No matter what you throw my way, I have the strength and mindset to defeat.  There was a moment a few weeks ago on a very windy day I was taking a walk around the neighborhood with a few of my kiddos.  A gust of wind blew down the street strong enough to make the kids squeal with glee while we were showered with yellow leaves from the trees above.  An older man was sitting on a stoop nearby laughing with us while everything else in the world seemed to stop.  Everything felt right in the world.  No sadness, no pain, only pure bliss.  It's amazing watching these young children respond to the most simplest of moments that most of us take for granted; or don't even notice.

There's a song on the radio that gives me the same feeling.  The song is not about cancer patients, but any cancer patient sure can relate to the lyrics.  Gym Class Heroes featuring Ryan Teddy: The Fighter.

Until the referee rings the bell
Until both your eyes start to swell
Until the crowd goes home
What we gonna do ya'll?

Give em hell, turn their heads
Gonna live life 'til we're dead.
Give me scars, give me pain
Then they'll say to me, say to me, say to me
There goes the fighter, there goes the fighter
Here comes the fighter
That's what they'll say to me, say to me, say to me,
This one's a fighter

This song would remind me I'm a fighter.  The scars and the pain only made me want to push harder.  It made me want to show the world that I am strong and I can do this.  It's hell, but I can do it.  I heard the song this morning and for the first time the feeling of empowerment did not overwhelm me.  I wasn't rushed with emotions and determination.  It caught me off guard and I just stood in my tracks as I listened to the lyrics.  Then I smilied.

I'm no longer fighting.  I won.