My Miracle

I was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma when I was 21.  I endured 8 months of treatment only to find out it did not work and I had a long road of treatment ahead of me.  Check out my entire treatment history if you're interested, or I can just give it to you here quick.

Just a couple months before my 22nd birthday I was going through some intense hospitalized chemo treatments as "maintenance" before I was hit with the high dose chemo and my stem-cell transplant.  I was moving my life out of college town and back into my dad's house, shopping for more pjs, and mentally preparing for living in and out of the hospital.  I was going to transplant classes at the hospital, learning what to expect during my hospitalizations and post treatment.  One thing that was lightly mentioned was infertility.  I hadn't thought too much about it, but when I began my research I suddenly learned that this high dose chemo was going to make me sterile.  At age 22.  Not okay. 

A friend's mother reached out to me and turned me to Dr. Silber. I met with Dr. Silber and his amazing team to learn that there were some fascinating advances in medicine that would still allow me to have children.  I had my eggs harvested as well as my ovarian tissue (he removed one of my ovaries.  It's remarkable, I did a tv interview about my story, learn all about it.)

Immediately after my transplant I could feel my body going through "the change."  Yup, I hit menopause at age 22.  After a few months I tested as post-menopausal.  The chemo had cleaned me out - I was officially sterile.  I was also in remission. 

Eight years later, age 30, I'm in love and recovering from my most recent relapse with cancer.  I'm 3 months out of treatment and in the beginning stage of feeling well again.  I'm getting my strength back, staying up later, expanding my diet, and starting to once again feel normal.  Then in February I was hit with a virus.  Nothing horrible, but I was having problems keeping food down and was constantly tired.  I was working out a lot, but didn't seem to be losing any weight.  I saw my oncologist and she ran a few tests, but everything came back negative.  She was a bit surprised I was still have chemo hangover side effects, but on paper I couldn't be healthier.  A few days after that appointment I was having dinner with girlfriends who all happen to be pregnant.  I can relate well to them because my chemo side effects were very similar to their pregnancy moans and groans.  But they started questioning me a bit more about this virus that seemed to be lingering around... and by the end of dinner they were convinced that my symptoms were due to pregnancy, not chemo.  I laughed in their faces... until one came back with a pregnancy test to shut me up.  I took it to humor them.  But then the joke was on me.  Positive.

WHAT?!  THERE IS NO FREAKING WAY I CAN BE PREGNANT!!  THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE!  I'M POST MENOPAUSAL!  I'M STERILE!  And then I became worried what other cancer I could have now that would result in a high HGC level ( high HGC is what makes a positive pregnancy test).  I met with my doc, did some more tests, and sure enough.... I'M PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Holy crap, I'm pregnant.

It was for sure a shock at first.  After letting it settle, sharing everything with Scott, and reflecting on what a true miracle this really is, my shock quickly turned into pure joy.  My oncologist, OGBYN, and fertilitist were all in equal shock.  It's a miracle.  I'm going to have a baby.

I am now 5 months pregnant, and we are expecting a baby girl on November 11th.  Scott and I moved into a beautiful home and now live on Cloud 9.  I can't quite believe it myself sometimes; I have never been this happy in life.  And it all happened just months after chemo treatment.  Never in a million years did I ever imagine this happening.  The possibility of being pregnant never even crossed my mind.  But now that she's here, it's all that we want.  It's all we can talk about.  We've nested and now we're waiting.  Thanking each other, our families, and God for this true blessing in life. 

I have everything I ever wanted in life.  I survived cancer.  Again.  I am engaged to the love of my life.  And we are 4 months away from meeting our little angel, Charlotte Ruth.  And I'm going to be a mom.  A mom to a true miracle.