DOUBLE DIGITS!!! That's right, 10 down and 6 to go! Wednesday evening seems like a whirlwind, there was so much going on. I had been guzzling water all day to hydrate my veins in hopes they would behave for the chemo nurses. But that also meant that I was stopping by every bathroom we passed. I signed in for labs then went to the bathroom. Occupied. Had my blood drawn and then headed back to the bathroom. Occupied. But the men's wasn't! When I exited the men's restroom two older woman stood shocked outside the door. "It's clean and no line!" They laughed but I'm pretty sure they still waited for the woman's.
Krissy and I headed to the doc's waiting room and waited some more. We munched on trail mix while Krissy dissected the drama I create in my life by dating too many boys. Apparently it's time for me to grow up? Nope, saved by the bladder - time to go to the bathroom again! Knock on the door - occupied. Wait for a minute... and the emergency help light goes off. Can't a girl just pee?? I walk back through the waiting room, tell Krissy of my bladder drama and leave the doc area to find another bathroom. I come back moments later to discover my name was called. Krissy and I venture back and find the tech who takes my vitals (btw, lost 4 pounds last week... oops. Looks like not eating from all the nausea last week was a secret diet?). Then she says she doesn't have a room ready yet. I have yet to figure out what it means to have a room "ready". I am the last appointment of the day. There are not many patients left and all of the docs, nurses, and receptionists are doing paper work at this point. It's not like the room needs to be cleaned or anything. Just the paper on the table is replaced and the gown taken out of the drawer (which I immediately replace in the drawer. I made the executive decision years ago I don't need a gown). So the tech offers us to wait in a 4 chair waiting area in between the doc offices and waiting room. Now mind you the waiting room is 5 feet behind us. It's not out of the way to go back to a room with reading material, tvs, and of course more water for me to drink. We think we'll only be sitting here for a minute or two. Well after 20-30 minutes have passed Krissy and I are completely slap happy after analyzing every detail in the only entertainment we can find in our teeny-tiny waiting area - a quilt.
We are finally saved and head back to see my doc. We've reached the point that I look great on paper, I feel great in person, so there's not a whole lot to talk about.... well, regarding my health that is. I was really ill last week with nausea, it took over my whole life for about 10 days. But I just overdid it with school, going out, and was fighting off an ailment from the kiddos. So add it all together and my body didn't like me for a bit. But other than that I've been great. So she starts off by giving me a hard time for not getting the port! "Why didn't you go through with it?! All they had to do is reopen the scar from your old port and you're good to go!" I gave her a guilty look, "Welllllll, I decided the pain isn't that bad. And I just don't want it." "You don't want it sticking out! You don't want it interfering with your dating life! I was really wondering what happened and why you decided no - I should have known!" So we chatted a bit about my neuropathy and then a lot about my current dating life. The challenges of dating with cancer - I could seriously write a book now.
Then the worst part of the whole visit occurred... I learned it was my fellow's last week (I'm pretty sure I started referring to her in the beginning of this blog as my fellow and then somehow transitioned into resident. Well, she's a fellow. And a damn good one at that). My doc called her in for me and she and I just hugged and fought back tears. I've been through many fellows at Barnes and she has by far been the best. I'm going to miss her so much, thank GOODNESS I'm already in remission and it happened with her. Although my doctor is seriously the best, having to meet a new fellow can be stressful. I was so comfortable with her, I had no shame discussing every little personal detail about my side effects. But life goes on and I couldn't be happier for her. Krissy and I headed over to treatment, now sad but the silliness seemed to be increasing.
When my chemo tech came out for me in the waiting room I shout, "Time for happy hour!" She starts laughing hysterically then comes to the conclusion that I must have been at happy hour due to my behavior. Truth be told, I'm exhausted and have entered slap happy mode. I had been up since 3am with nausea. It was HORRIBLE. By 5:30am my meds had brought me back to normal, but I had yet to go back to sleep. So I hit up yoga and went on with my day. Here I am 15 hours into my day and laughing like a little school girl. I'm tired, so sad, and dreading the hunt for my veins. So what do I do? Laugh. As we wrapped up my arms with heat (it helps the veins) my chemo nurse decided not to even mess with it and immediately went for the charge nurse. And she got it in the FIRST try!!!! My sister brought Dawson's Creek as my treatment surprise, but we had too much fun chatting with my tech, the nurses, other patients, celebrating the girl across from me who was having her last treatment, eating pudding, laughing at the nurses modeling the new hats... too many laughs were to be had and only 2 minutes of Dawson's were actually watched. When the girl across from me left, Krissy and my tech started laughing at the fact that it seems like the last few times I've been there it's always someone's last treatment day! The girl who was celebrating her last day was giving me support for just starting treatment. Like I've said, you can't tell by looking at me that I've been on treatment for 15 months now. Even other cancer patients can't tell! I told her this was my 10 cycle of this drug and I'm not expected to lose my hair. She was on her final cycle - cycle 4. UG! And the cocktail she was on was ABVD - what I did 8 years ago (except I did 16 cycles). Well, no need to compare, I am beyond happy for the girl, especially since she could not believe the fact that I'm only months away from 30 :). My tech comforted my complaints that I still had 4 months to go and put my final chemo date in her phone so we can go out and enjoy a REAL happy hour :).
The pain wasn't too bad this time. She ran it at the normal 30 minutes which honestly in the end could have been slowed down, but I pushed through the pain. When cold fluid runs through your vein that fast it makes your arm cold. Very, very cold. To the point I can't feel my arm because it's going numb. And numb = pain. When my chemo nurse was removing my iv she was even a bit surprised at how cold my arm was; and that was through her gloves!
Probably the best part about the whole trip (besides the chemo nurses being slap happy like me and parading around the pod with the gosh-awful hats) was the fact that I felt FINE when leaving! Now, Krissy argued that her arm would disagree with this fact. Apparently I was still holding on tight as we walked out. Sure I was still a bit weak in the knees, but I didn't feel that bad! I sang on the way home and survived the drive-through for dinner which usually makes me want to cry from being stressed out with way too many options. When we arrived home I was fine. I was functional, not sick, just slightly sleepy. The next day was the same story!! It was an easy hangover! The body aches increased more this time than normal and standing was not desirable, but I wasn't sick! The only thing that sucks is that it's lasting a long time. Here it is Saturday and I am sooo sleepy still! Just getting ice cream with Sheila, Maaria and the fam was enough of a Friday night adventure for me. I was in bed by 9 :(. I had plans to be at the lake with JRob this weekend and seriously thought I could do it. Why do I kid myself sometimes just to set myself up for disappointment?! Oh well, a weekend of R&R really isn't the worst of ideas I guess. This hangover too shall pass and I will once again be back to normal before I know it!
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