Will Smith said it best - I'm lovin living, it's all good. I'm seriously on the edge of my seat, only 12 more weeks until I'm completely done with treatment! I am so looking forward to fully functioning fingers. They aches and numb pain has been rather rough this past week, but I'm pushing through. I woke up the other night with zero feeling in my hand. I couldn't move it on my own. I massaged my palm and stretched the fingers until I finally had control again. I'm also looking forward to my hair thickening again. It's getting pretty fine over here!
Probably what I am looking forward to the most is my medical bills coming to an end! Well, at least slow down! I'm use to the periodic doc visits, but those are usually only a few times a year, not a month! I am 100% financially handicapped. It suuuuuuuucks having my life controlled by an empty wallet. Now if I was a big spender and blew all my money then it would be my own fault. But who am I to complain when the reason I'm broke is because I'm still alive? Ironic, isn't it.
No money or all of the money in the world - it doesn't matter. I just need enough to get by because money does not buy happiness. Sure, it can make life easier and buy me things that make me happy, but that's not exactly what happiness means. At least not to me. Any time I was asked as a kid "What do you want most in life?" My response was always "happiness". I always thought happiness meant falling in love and starting a family. Sure, that'll probably make me happy. But today happiness means enjoying everything that I do and everyone who I am with. If it doesn't make me happy, peace out. There are too many things in life not to love! Lovin Livin!
Melissa, I just found out about your blog from Leta's blog. Your words have moved my spirits more than any pep talk, feel good medication, or bubble bath. Without exaggeration. Nowhere on the web can I find what I feel is a truly positive story that does not gush with cliches and/or cover up the realities of dealing with chemo. Thanks so much. I am going to read something from your blog every day, once a day, just like I take my meds. How many times can I say Thank You without spamming your blog? :)
ReplyDeleteGo Girl! I need a coach like you
PS...the numbness can be really ghastly... it even hurts like a bad case of frost bite....yes it woke me up too. I am just starting Brentuximab, and still have it from previous ICE regimens. And before that from ABVD. It does go away...slowly slowly... but it does get better. Yes it sucks!
ReplyDeleteAww, why thanks! I'm pretty honest these days :) Who is Leta? I did not experience neuropathy during ABVD nor ICE - it's VERY annoying!! Thank you for your kind words, I hope your journey is peaceful and moving along quickly with that light nearing at the end of the tunnel!
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