Over the summer I found myself sitting down to lunch on the couch watching reruns of Grey's Anatomy on Lifetime. I was quickly addicted! I'm halfway into season 6 and I can't turn it off! Bailey has me laughing all the time, Izzie and Denny have me in tears, and Meredith needs to get over the fact that life gave her lemons and make some freaking lemonade, not drown in it!
Season five had me reflecting a lot as I watched Izzie battle cancer.
She was surprised
to realize how hard it was to not just make the appointments and go
through initial testing, but to tell the people who she loved that she had
cancer. I remember that was very challenging for me as well. It's
almost like you feel the need to tell everyone in your life or else you
are living a lie. But who runs around shouting, "I have cancer"?! You never know how people are going to react. Will they burst out in tears? Tell me about their friend's cousin's grandpa who had pancreatic cancer? Or say the most horrible thing cancer patients dread, "Everything is going to be okay." Well I know it's going to be okay, but right now it feels like the whole entire world just collapsed so feel some grief with me please!
During treatment Izzie was up out of her bed trying to keep her mind off of the cancer world while the world around her continually told her to get back in bed and rest. She didn't realize they were right until it was too late and her body rejected her choices. Hmmm, I'd say I'm currently experiencing that one!
At the end of treatment Izzie received good
news that she was through the hard part; and it hit her like a brick wall. It's so strange, that feeling when treatment is over and it's time to move on with life. I focused a lot on it last
spring in a post when I reentered remission. I
think that since I've been sitting on this remission cloud for the past
8 months I couldn't be more ready to move on. I act normal, seem normal, and
look normal that I think everyone around me has checked out of the
Mel-has-cancer world, too. The first half of this drug I had so many
cards and frozen meals coming at me I was overwhelmed with love. Now a
days I'm usually asked, "How many more?" like it's no big deal since I've been on the drug for so long. Eh, I guess it's kinda not. Although deep into the hangover last week I would have argued that, ha!
It's nice having a show where I can check out of the real world and get wrapped up in the crazy drama of Seattle Grace Hospital. MUCH better than Barnes Hospital :)
"Everything is going to be okay", a statement that acts like more of a scapegoat for people that are just ignorant. How about asking, what is being done about it? Or asking if there is anything they can do to help.
ReplyDeleteThe first time I tried telling my whole family, I said three words and started balling. I couldn't finish one sentence and just let my parents talk to them. I remember just how hard it was and still is to reveal such news. It is just difficult to knowingly make someone you love cry and I couldn't bare the sad faces and tears on their faces.