Ok, it's really not that bad. The woman two seats down from me was receiving chemo through a spinal tap. SHE probably really hates chemo. But I still want to complain. Pulling the cancer card...
I arrived at treatment feeling completely fine as I always do and was spoiled with games, coloring, and food by Kristin Jane. Oh, and she even taught me how to tweet - that was my excitement for the day. My tech was super sweet and sociable and kept me warm with heated blankets. My chemo nurse on the other hand just rubbed us the wrong way. You have to be in the right mood for this one. I had her last year for something else, and she is rather entertaining, but has a loud and in charge personality that I just was not in the mood for. While she was digging in my arm with the iv trying her hardest to get blood return, Krissy was distracting me from the pain with a comical story about her missing eye cream. I was entertained by the story but of course the nurse has to give her a hard time, "You're complaining about eye cream while she's on chemo?!" Yes, the nurse was just joking... I think. I told the nurse that I prefer Krissy's stories so this doesn't seem like as big of a deal. And when I said "this" I lifted my arm to emphasize her struggles to find my vein. UG, she was annoying.
Chemo last time wasn't bad at all. I didn't feel a thing and had good energy when I left. Not the same story this time. It freaking hurt! And either my nurse thinks I'm a drama queen or just didn't care, but the chemo hurt as it went into my arm. My tech wrapped it up in warm blankets which helped with the swelling and discomfort. Before chemo even started I told my chemo nurse that this pain occurred the first time and she looked at me like I was crazy - that shouldn't be happening. I actually had a bit of faith in her that she knew what she was doing and would make sure I was comfortable. Well, no sympathy from her.
Krissy tried entertaining me with tweets and glitter crayons, but I soon became a crabass. For the most part I can suck it up when I don't feel well. But when I am in pain I complain. I get really crabby really fast. I left Krissy to the coloring while I sulked in my chair and rested my eyes - I lost all spunk. Thank goodness it's only 30 minutes - I had Krissy giving me a countdown of the minutes.
Chemo ended and I did not want to get up. I wanted to sleep right then and there. Instead I was interrogated by my chemo nurse about my latest neuropathy who made me feel like a second grader who forgot my homework at home. I left feeling dizzy, tired, and defeated by her. Driving home and making dinner were the last two things I wanted to do. I got in my car insanely overwhelmed by my throbbing arm, the nurses annoyance, my hunger, and the fact that I didn't want to drive and I found myself crying by the time I left the garage. I had officially hit drama queen mode. The pain was getting to me and for the first time in a long time I just wanted someone to be at home waiting to take care of me! But I sucked it up and was absolutely fine to drive. I went straight to my bed and cuddled up for an extra long slumber.
The rest of my Siteman visit prior to treatment went just fine. My oncologist was in a great mood and we chatted it up like usual. She and my nurse coordinator now have me doped up on drugs to help rid of this sinus infection I've had for the lat 2 weeks. We also scheduled scans for 3 weeks from now. So let the anxiety of my future begin! This chemo could very well be working and I will regain control over my life... Or this could be another failed-attempt chemo and we'll move on to plan C... that much closer to a dreaded time-buying transplant. Hurry up 3 weeks.
The good news: I've lost 3lbs. since my last appointment.
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