I can't believe it's already here! Scans are tomorrow, and then I meet with my doc on Wednesday for the results. I've actually been okay for the past week, not too anxious about what is to come. I've had enough practice under my belt for moments like this, I know how to keep my mind off of it - finding distractions! I've solicited friends all weekend to keep me entertained and my mind far away from reality. It's been quite nice!
Last night I joined a friend for dinner (someone who has been in the dark about this whole cancer thing) and I finally decided to let the cat out of the bag. He was asking how I was feeling since he knew I was sick last weekend and it finally dawned on me, why do I always hide this? I mean, some people look like deer in headlights and clam up with not knowing what to say or how to continue the conversation. But I knew that wouldn't be his reaction. So after a short synopsis of Mel's life with cancer, I was surprised by his response. He goes on to say that it explains a lot. It makes sense why I make the choices I do. What I drive, where I work, even how I order off of a menu (seriously, WHY do some people always order the same thing?!). So it seems that even people who have no idea that I struggle living with a terminal illness still see something. I thought after all of this time I was doing a fine job of covering it up where in the end I am make other others just that much more curious. INTERESTING!
Well, with it being the day before scans I'm on an obnoxious high protein no carb diet. So it's off to the grocery store because chicken and green beans did not make the best of breakfasts. Seriously, why do I not plan in advance better for this?! Ha!
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